Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

February 22, 2001

Bozo criminal for today needs to pick up one of those self-help books on finishing what you start. From Queens, New York comes the story of an unidentified bozo who walked into a bank in the early afternoon and handed the teller a holdup note. Before the teller could give him any money our bozo got cold feet and ran. After spending about 30 minutes building up his confidence our bozo walked into another bank and tried again. He handed the teller a note and once more he got weak in the knees and ran out before getting his cash. Perhaps remembering the old adage, try, try again, our bozo once again gathered up all the courage he could muster and walked into yet another bank. The loser again gave the teller a note and again began to sweat and feel short of breath. You know the story, he ran out without getting any money. But he’s not the only one coming up empty handed…the cops are still looking for him.

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