Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

October 20, 2000

Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 0008: In the Bozo World, if at first you don’t succeed, it’s usually a good idea to give up. From Joplin, Missouri comes the story of bozo Brian Calder who first tried to rob a Long John Silver’s Restaurant, but stopped by a little too late. Employees inside watched as our bozo, wearing his ski mask, tried to enter but was frustrated by a locked door and left empty handed. He then headed to the Northstar 14 cinemas and tried to hold up the ticket seller. As he was pointing his gun at the window, the clip fell out. Again, our bozo became frustrated and fled. He next headed to the neighborhood Albertson’s supermarket where he got about $325 from the store’s safe. He sprinted to a nearby wooded area to count his loot. Store employees watched where he went and pointed him out to the cops.

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