Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

June 19, 2000

Bozo criminals for today violated Bozo Rule Number 1134: Before you try to steal something, be sure you know what you’re going to do with it when you get it. From the International File in Cordoba, Argentina comes the story of some bumbling bozos who decided to steal the ATM machine from a local bank. Our bozos tied ropes to the machine, tied those ropes to their truck and yanked the contraption from the wall, dragging it about 200 yards down the road. At this point it dawned on the bozos that no one knew how to get inside the infernal machine. "You mean you don’t know how to break it open?" "Nope." "Me neither." So you have an ATM machine tied tied to your car and no one knows how to get the cash out of it. What do you do? If you’re our bozo crooks you just untie it, leave it sitting in the middle of the road and drive away.

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