Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

June 21, 2000

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Dave Day of Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Banff, Canada comes the story of a couple of bozos who thought it might be profitable to steal a prehistoric tusk from a local museum. Our bozos smashed the window of the gallery and snatched a 30,000 year old mammoth tusk, valued at $40,000. Once you have a mammoth tusk, the question soon arises, what do you do with it? Our bozos checked around and quickly found that there’s not a large market for fossil tusks. (They probably should have tried e-bay!) Finally finding a fossil wholesaler in Calgary, our bozos showed up in his office, dragging along the tusk, which they claimed they had inherited. (My Grandma passed away and left me this tusk…) Thinking the tusk looked rather familiar, the dealer checked his records and, wouldn’t you know it, they were trying to sell the tusk back to the same dealer who had sold it to the museum in the first place. Cops were called and our bozos were arrested.

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