Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

May 05, 2000

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk "One Eyed Joe" for sending in today’s report. From Orange, Texas comes the story of bozo Ronnie Higgins who worked at a chemical plant and thought he might supplement his income by stealing some of the plant’s welding cables. Now, these cables are rather heavy and bulky, so how would a bozo sneak them out of the plant? Simple. He took several of the welding leads and wrapped them around his torso. Then he put on his coat to cover them. Our bozo began walking toward the plant gate, which was quite some distance away. Now remember we told you these cables were quite heavy and the further the bozo walked the more exhausted he became until he finally fainted right in front of the security guards at the front gate. They revived him and, upon discovering what he had hidden, sent him on his way, relieved of his burden and his job.

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