Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

April 25, 2000

Thanks to several Bozo News Hawks who spotted this one in a recent Ann Landers column. From Siler City, North Carolina comes the story of bozo Randy Hayes who was having a really bad day. Our bozo walked into a convenience store and bought a bag of potato chips. While the clerk was making change, our bozo tried to grab the money from the cash drawer, but the clerk quickly slammed it shut, almost getting the bozo’s fingers. He then tried to grab the cash register but it was too heavy for him to lift. Next he tried to snatch a rack full of cigarettes but again was stopped by the clerk. Giving up, he drove away empty handed but was spotted by the cops who recognized his vehicle as being stolen. Our bozo tried to outrun them but lost control and crashed the car into a ditch. The cops arrested him on the stolen vehicle charge and on the way to the jail, he asked if they would let him stop at the convenience store to get his chips, since he had already paid for them. Feeling generous, the cops let him go in where he was promptly identified by the clerk as the person who had tried to rob the store earlier. The cops added robbery to the bozo’s charges. Don’t know if he ever got his chips.

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