Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

March 06, 2000

Bozo criminal for today comes from Albuquerque, New Mexico where bozo Ralph Simpson attempted to rob a convenience store. Instead of using a weapon to demand money, our bozo instead tried a rather unusual threat. He walked in and told the cashier that if she didn’t hand over the money, he’d hold his breath until he passed out and then he’d sue the store for being injured on the premises. The attendant merely laughed at him. Our bozo then held his breath until he turned red, probably as much from embarassment and frustration as from lack of oxygen. When it became obvious his plan wasn’t working, he headed for the door where he ran smack into an off duty police officer stopping by for a cup of coffee.

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