Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

January 05, 2000

The bozo criminal report for today features the first reported Y2K-bozo related incident. From Kansas City, Missouri comes the story of a couple who prepared for the year 2000 by drawing all their money, and their stocks and bonds, out of the bank and placing it all inside a five foot high vault they had purchased for their home. A couple of days later they came home and the vault, with all their valuables inside, was missing. A bozo had brought in his dolly and simply wheeled the vault out and onto his truck. Unfortunately, our bozo only had a plan for stealing the vault, not one for getting into it. The cops found the valult a couple of days later in a nearby field, somewhat the worse for wear. The bozo had attempted to saw the hinges off, and failed. He had tried to knock the combination tumblers off, and failed. And he had tried to pry open the door, and failed. He did succeed in getting arrested, however, after the bozo thief, who was the couple’s next door neighbor, blabbed to a couple of friends about his problems.

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