Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

January 27, 2000

Bozo criminal for today is not really a criminal, since no charges have been filed against him, but as you will see, he is most certainly a bozo. From Jacksonville, Florida comes the story of bozo James Painter who went to the emergency room complaining of severe abdominal cramps, heartburn and indigestion. After taking X-rays the unbelieving doctors did emergency surgery, removing 55 crack cocaine pipes from his stomach, ranging in size up to 4 1/2 inches long and a quarter inch in diameter. Apparently our bozo had swallowed the pipes while high on crack and did not even realize he had done so.

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