Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

December 06, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where bozo John Crain is what you would call a habitual bozo. He has been busted for burglary over a dozen times since 1980 and still can’t seem to get it right. Our bozo broke into a home recently and managed to grab a computer, a video camera and several compact discs without leaving behind any evidence. Then, his sweet tooth got the better of him. Inside a cabinet, he spotted a pack of gum, which he snatched. Our bozo then proceeded to unwrap five sticks, leaving the foil wrappers behind. You guessed it, the cops were able to recover his fingerprints from the gum wrappers and he was arrested yet again.

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