Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

October 20, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Calgary, Alberta, Canada where bozo David Payne decided to try and beat a routine traffic ticket in court. Our bozo had been ticketed in January for failure to use a left turn lane at an intersection. A few months after the bozo had been ticketed that intersection had been reconfigured and now there was no left turn lane there. So, our bozo brought along some pictures of the new intersection, planning to claim that they showed there was no left turn lane, figuring the judge would never suspect that the pictures were new. The judge took one look at the bozo’s pictures and asked him when they had been taken. "In January, the day after I was ticketed, you honor," our bozo replied. "Guilty," said the judge, slamming down his gavel. And how did the judge know the bozo was lying? Those pictures our bozo submitted as evidence, supposedly taken in January, in the dead of Canadian winter, showed a lovely intersection perfectly landscaped with green grass and fresh flowers.

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