Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

September 10, 1999

Now, we’ve all heard this sort of bozo story before but it’s his excuse that makes David Smyth our Bozo of the Day. From Deerfield Beach, Florida comes the story of Bozo David Smyth who climbed up a palm tree, jumped over to the roof of a pizza restaurant and then shimmied down the exhaust vent. He got about three quarters of the way down before you can guess what happened. Right. He got stuck. Our bozo stayed stuck all night and was still in the vent in the morning when the pizza crew arrived for work. Hearing his calls for help, they called the cops who then called the fire department rescue squad. After failing in an attempt to pull the bozo out of the bottom of the vent, the rescue workers finally wound up pouring a couple of gallons of pizza restaruant grease (cool, thank goodness) down the vent. It loosened the bozo up enough that they were able to tie a rope around him and pull him out. To add insult to injury, our bozo was so greasy that he not only slipped out of the vent, he also slipped out of his pants on the way out. But, it was his excuse for being in the vent in the first place that earned him his place on the Bozo Honor Roll. Bozo David told the cops that he climbed up a palm tree, jumped over to the roof of the pizza restaurant and shimmied down the exhaust vent because he was looking for a quiet place to sleep.

Category: Uncategorized