Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

August 04, 1999

Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule #7009: If you’re gonna rob a bank, it’s usually a good idea to take along a sack. From Duvall, Washington comes the story of bozo Thomas Krauss who held up the Seafirst Bank on Main Street, getting away with a significant amount of cash which he stuffed in his pants pockets. Instead of heading home, our bozo ducked into a restaurant just down the street and took a seat at the bar. He then proceeded to offer a female patron cash to drive him out of town. It was at this moment that a sheriff’s deputy in the restaurant noticed the twenty and fifty dollar bills jammed into, and sticking out of, our bozo’s pockets. When the officer asked our bozo for an ID, he reached into his pocket and pulled out wads of twenties as he searched for it. Unable to find an ID, our bozo decided to make a run for it, but was quickly apprehended in the restaurant parking lot as he tried to hide between two parked cars.

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