Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

August 05, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Washington, Pennsylvania where bozo Marlon Lyons was driving down Interstate 70 with a big load of cocaine in his trunk when he made his first mistake. A cop pulled him over for exceeding the speed limit. As the officer was talking to him he noticed he was acting rather antsy so he asked him to step out of the car. Once outside, the officer asked our bozo if he had drugs, guns or anything illegal in the car. This question made our bozo really antsy and he became very pale, his eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted dead away, falling right over the guardrail. He wasn’t injured but as you might imagine this made the officer more than a little suspicious. A quick check of the trunk turned up ten kilograms of cocaine. Our bozo was awakened and arrested.

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