Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

5 27, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Malmesbury, South Africa, where bozo John Williams broke into a medium security jail with the intention of freeing his friend, Jacob Manley. Our bozo first cut the outer fence, then used two hydraulic jacks to pry open the cell bars. Everything’s going good so far. Then it came time for our bozo to squeeze through the bars and make his escape. And that’s where we have a problem. It seems bozo Jacob had been enjoying a little too much of that good prison food because he got sturck tight between the bars. Seeing that the situation was hopeless, our bozo rescuer fled the scene. The guards came by a while later and freed the bozo, finding something his friend had left behind. His keys and drivers license. He has now joined his portly friend behind bars.

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