Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

4 8, 1999

The Bozo criminal for today comes from Erie, Pennsylvania where bozo Steven Wallensky was arrested for stealing a half million dollars from a safe in his fiancee’s parents’ house while they were away on vacation. Our bozo took the money and ran, spending it freely, buying a new Mercedes, video and stereo equipment and taking his mother on a spree at the casinos in Atlantic City. It was his last stop that got him caught. It seems our bozo took a liking to a gentleman’s club. Management at the club became suspicious when the dancers noticed that the $8,000 in cash tips that he gave them had a musty smell, like money that had been stored in a safe for a long time. The cops were called, put two and two together and arrested our bozo.

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