Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

4 20, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Fairfax County, Virginia where police detective Michael Lane insists that he is not a criminal, admitting only that he is absent minded. We would have to insist that he seems to be a bozo, whether he is a criminal… that’s not for us to decide. Lane was accused of stealing items out of the police property room. He says he just took the items home and then forgot about them. Check this list. Found at our bozo’s home were the following: 5 pair of expensive sunglasses, a Sony radio, a Thai Fighter computer game, a laser pen/pointer system, a radar detector, 21 booklets of stamps, a samsonite luggage cart and a framed poster of Marilyn Monroe, all of which matched exactly items that were missing from the property room. He’s absent minded, all right-he forgot to hide his loot.

Category: Uncategorized