Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

3 15, 1999

Bozo criminal for today come from Chicago Illinois where bozo Gary Michaels had big plans to rob a jewelry store. His idea, smash the display window, grab as many goodies as he could and run. One problem, the display window was very thick so it would take a heavy object to smash it. Looking around, our bozo found just the object. A manhole cover just a few steps away. So, our bozo pried the nanhole cover up and with all his strength heaved it thru the window. Sure enough, it worked. The window was smashed. The bozo reached inside, grabbed his loot and took off down the sidewalk. Suddenly our bozo disappeared from sight…down the open manhole. He was trying to pull himself out when the cops arrived.

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