Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

3 16, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Phoenix, Arizona where bozo Randy Raines decided to hold up a convenience store in what he thought was a terrific disguise…full drag. Randy decked himself out in a long blonde wig, false eyelashes, lots of makeup and a skin tight red miniskirt with high heels. The cashier snickered a little at him, but gave him a small amount of cash and Randy dashed out the door. Well, dashed is not exactly the right word. Never having worn a skin tight miniskirt with high heels before, the bozo did not know it’s rather difficult to run in such a getup. He took off down the street but could only run a few steps before falling down. He pulled off his shoes but still couldn’t run very well because of the tight dress. He was struggling, trying to pull the dress over his head when the cops arrived.

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