Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

2 12, 1999

Bozo criminal for today comes from Manchester, New Hampshire where bozo Charles Finney walked up to the doors of the Fleet Bank at 8:50 AM wearing a ski mask and carrying what looked to be a gun. Our bozo was ready to rob, but he was about ten minutes too early, as the bank hadn’t yet opened. Astonished bank employees watched from inside as our hapless bozo yanked on the locked doors to no avail. Finally, he took off his mask, hopped back into his car and drove away. Alert bank workers took down the bozo’s license number and he was arrested by the cops a few minutes later. By the way, that object he was carrying that looked like a gun turned out to be an ice scraper.

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