Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

1 5, 1999

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Lieutenant Greg Denman of the Lufkin, Texas Police Department for passing along today’s report. It seems that over the weekend, Lufkin officers spotted a man pushing a shopping cart leaving the parking lot of a tire store at one o’clock in the morning. Loaded into the shopping cart were three automobile wheels, two tires mounted on wheels, and one car battery. The officers stopped the bozo who explained that the owner of the store had told him that he could have those items. The officer then asked him why he had chosen to take them at this hour of the morning. The bozo’s answer, "I don’t have a watch." He also doesn’t have a brain. After checking with the store’s owner, police hauled our bozo to jail.

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