Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

10 14, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 2256: When you choose something to steal, try to find something that won’t draw attention to yourself. From Morristown, New Jersey comes the story of Bozo Rondal Daniel who stole a bright orange and pink Dunkin Donuts van from in front of a Dunkin Donuts shop. The police were notified and soon the cops were in hot pursuit. Don’t know if it was because he stole the van from the cops’ favorite eatery or what, but before long our bozo was being pursued down the interstate by a long line of troopers and local cops from two states, sirens wailing and lights flashing. It looked like something straight out of Smokey and the Bandit. Our bozo finally pulled over and was arrested for drunk driving. The moral to the story–don’t mess with the cops donut supply.

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