Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

8 10, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 3322: If you’re going to pull off a successful crime, it would help if your potential victims could understand you. From Passaic, New Jersey comes the story of Bozo Juan Colona who burst into a Polish Tavern and announced a hold up. One problem: Colona spoke only Spanish and the patrons of the bar spoke only English or Polish, so no one paid any attention to him. The bozo then fired a warning shot from his gun to try to attract their attention. He attracted some attention all right, from a police officer walking his beat outside. Upon hearing the shot, the officer stepped inside and arrested the bozo who was still trying to tell the bartender he wanted their money.

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