Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

6 19, 1998

Thanks to many Bozo News Hawks who pointed out this story in a recent Ann Landers column. From Dallas, Texas comes the story of Bozo Jerome Sessions who walked into the Federal Reserve Bank at 6:30 one morning. The Federal Reserve Bank has no tellers so our bozo presented a note to an armed security guard. The note was very specific, saying, "This is a bank robbery of the Dallas Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas, Texas. Give me all the money. Thank you. Sincerely, Jerome Sessions." The guard politely took the note and pressed a silent security alarm. While they were waiting, the bozo made small talk, saying, "Well, I’m here to rob you. Is this where the money is? I tried to rob the post office but they threw me out… ". Before he could come up with anything else stupid to say, the police arrived and arrested our bozo.

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