Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

6 29, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 1005: Never get yourself into a job you’re not qualified for. From Madison, Wisconsin comes the story of Bozo Alan Haber who stole a taxi cab. He would probably have been OK if he had just been content to steal the cab… But no… he had to pretend to be a cabbie, too! Police were tipped off about the bozo cab driver by a woman who called the cops to complain that her cabbie seemed to be a very poor driver. He had no idea where he was going and at the end of the ride couldn’t operate the timer to tell her how much she owed him. Police quickly tracked down our bozo and charged him wht car theft, drunk driving, driving without a license and impersonating a cabbie.

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