Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

2 16, 1998

The Bozo criminal for today comes from Fairfax, Virginia where bozo Garrett Burris offered to help out a friend who was ticketed for speeding. Our bozo said he would represent him in court if he would contest the ticket. The bozo grabbed a handful of books on fighting speeding tickets, read up on them and showed up in court ready to play lawyer. He proceeded to question the issuing highway patrolman for half and hour before the prosecutor jumped in and asked the bozo if he was a lawyer. Nope, the bozo replied. At this point, the judge brought a halt to the proceedings, fining the traffic violator fifty bucks and charging the bozo with practicing law without a license, which carries a $2500 fine and up to a year in jail.

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