Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

2 24, 1998

The Bozo criminal for this morning comes from Elmont, Long Island, New York where bozo Tommy Johnson broke into a bakery. He cleaned out the cash register and grabbed the TV, setting it on the counter, ready to be carted off. Then our bozo found the chocolate donuts. He decided to have one, then another and, you know how it is with donuts, you just can’t stop eating them. Anyway, the bozo ate a half a box of the chocolate donuts and then sat down to take a break. And fell asleep. An employee came in to open up, found him and called police. Officers arrived, woke up our bozo and arrested him.

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