Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

9 12, 1997

The Bozo criminal for today comes from Kansas City, Missouri where police pulled over bozo Richard Finney after he ran a red light. His license was expired and he had no ID but what made the cop suspicious was that the bozo acted as if his jaw was wired shut, barely opening his mouth, even when he spoke. When the cop asked the bozo what was in his mouth, he replied, "Nothing, " through closed lips. The officer pried open the bozo’s mouth and managed to get a small amount of marijuana before the bozo swallowed the rest of it, except for the stuff that wound up stuck in and around his teeth. When the cop asked the bozo what that was, he replied that he’d had pizza for lunch and that it had a lot of parsley on it. Police didn’t buy that story and the bozo was arrested.

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