Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

9 30, 1997

The Bozo Criminal for today comes from the International File. From Hong Kong comes the tale of 29 year old Lui Kai-kwong, who, armed with a fruit knife, robbed a bank of a little over $2000 and ran away. The bank’s security guard gave chase, along with a mailman who saw what was going on. The bozo ran and ran and grew more tired, as his pursuers grew ever nearer. In fact, the pursuers were so close that when the postman pulled out his cell phone to call the cops, the bozo snatched it out of his hand and called the cops himself, turning himself in, saying he was totally exhausted. We have here a clear violation of Bozo Criminal Rule #578: If you’re going to rob a bank and flee on foot, be sure you’re in shape.

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