Several years ago Dustin Hoffman described Academy Awards "Oscar" as a naked person holding a sword. The Bozo Criminal for today fits this description and was sighted in Portland, Oregon during a snowstorm. A totally naked man carrying a sword walked into a convenience store and headed for the beer cooler. The Bozo pointed the sword at the store clerk and said, "I’m thirsty." Not wanting to argue with a naked Bozo carrying a sword, the clerk reached for a six pack, but before he could hand it to him, the naked Bozo turned and headed back out into the snowstorm. Police caught up with the naked sword carrier a few blocks away, still naked, presumably still thirsty and definitely still stupid.