Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

2 18, 1997

The Bozo Criminals for today come from Starkville, Mississippi. Three Bozos decided they would rob the green oaks superette there. They walked in and demanded the clerk turn over all the cash in the register. When the clerk was hesitant to do so, the only Bozo with a weapon began waving it around and tried to fire a warning shot only to have the gun jam. When this happened, the clerk pulled a gun of his own, which scared the bozos so much that they went running for the door, two of them tripping over each other in the process They jumped in their getaway car and barely pulled out of the parking lot before smoke began pouring from the car’s engine. Yes, our Bozos had blown the motor on their getaway car. They had the hood up and were trying to get it going when the police arrived.

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