Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Salina, Kansas. As best as we have been able to piece together, here is the Bozo Timeline for this burglary. One, break into residence, head to kitchen, drink cranberry juice from refrigerator. Two, head to the basement and check out the inversion table, a device where you strap your feet to the table and then tilt it so you hang upside down, for supposed health benefits. And you know the rest of the story. Our bozo was so fascinated by the inversion table that he forgot about his plans to burglarize the home. He strapped himself in, turned the table up and found himself hanging upside down with no way to free himself. He raised such a ruckus that the homeowner was awakened and the cops were called. Our bozo was removed from the table and placed under arrest.