Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

But At Least They Left the Bar Smelling Outdoorsy Fresh

Bozo criminals for today from Winona, Minnesota, seemed to have a good plan for pulling off a bar heist. First, dress all in black and cover faces with bandanas and ski masks. Check. Second, conceal your weapon inside a paper bag. Check. Third, wait until near closing time and grab the manager when she went outside for a smoke. Check. Things were going according to plan until one of our bozos dropped a box containing the night’s cash receipts. This emboldened a patron to get in the face of the other bozo, causing him to drop his box of loot. Other customers and employees then joined in, partially removing our bozo’s masks and causing the weapon to drop to the floor. That’s when it was discovered that, instead of being armed with a gun, our bozo was carrying…an air freshener. Thinking better of the whole plan, our bozos fled empty handed. One more thing, they were recognized by employees since they had been drinking in the bar only 15 minutes earlier. Oops. They’re busted!

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