Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

“Flex” Fuel Doesn’t Mean It Runs On Anything

Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 112218: If you’re going to steal a car, be sure what type of fuel it takes. Police in Crooked River Ranch, Oregon, where police were called to a report of a domestic disturbance. It seems our bozo had threatened his stepfather with a gun, then stole a vehicle before fleeing with his girlfriend and his three year old son. Three hours later a tow truck called the police with a tip that he had been called to tow a stalled vehicle that matched the description of the stolen car. The police were able to arrest our bozo without further incident. Oh, did we forget one vital piece of information? Our bozo had noticed the car was low on fuel so instead of stopping at a gas station, he stole a gas can from a barn and put the fuel in the tank. One problem. The gas can was full of diesel fuel. And the car ran on regular gas. Oops. He’s busted, charged with menacing, pointing a firearm at another, unlawful use of a weapon, second degree burglary, third degree theft and being a felon in possession of a firearm.

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