Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Unicorns Are Real, and This One’s Robbing Me!

Today’s bozo from the International File in London, England, violated so many bozo rules we’ve lost count. First, that rule about making your disguise something that doesn’t draw attention to yourself. Fail. Bozo Jacob Rogers donned a full body pink and white unicorn costume before walking into a convenience store, smashing one of the registers with a crowbar and demanding cash from the clerk. He got some cash and fled to a waiting getaway car and that’s where the next bozo rule comes into play. The one about having a skilled getaway driver. Fail. Police spotted a car matching the getaway vehicle’s description and gave chase. That’s when our bozo driver lost control, crashed into a mailbox, careened off a light pole, through some shrubbery before finally encountering a boulder. The big rock caused the car to bounce, pinball-like, across the road, coming to a stop after crashing into a tree. After being hospitalized to treat their injuries, our bozos were charged with armed robbery, robbery, first and second degree assault, theft, and destruction of property

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