Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Dude, I Told You We Should Have Gotten a Hybrid!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Houlton, Maine. It seems that Bozo brothers Damien and Bailey Wilson, ages 22 and 21 respectively, were interested in survivalism and, according to their father, liked to do “different” things. They came up with a real doozy this time. Our bozos, who reside in Canada, thought that it would be fun to see if they could drive from Canada to Mexico without making any stops for fuel. So the first thing to do is buy a modern fuel efficient car, right? Wrong. Instead they bought a blue 1967 Buick Skylark with no certificate of registration, legal documents or license plates. Bad idea number one. The second part of the plan, to make no stops for fuel, required loading 21 jugs of gasoline in the back seat and trunk. Bad idea number two. The third part of the plan was to avoid detection by using only back roads. So they purchased a bunch of old fashioned paper maps. Bad idea number three. They didn’t even get out of Canada before they found themselves approaching one of the busiest US/Canada crossings. Our bozos then just froze, stopping their car car in the middle of the road. As you can imagine, a 1967 Buick loaded with jugs of gasoline caused quite a stir at the border crossing. Drones, helicopters, police dogs and a SWAT team were called in. Our bozos were taken into custody and, after their father corroborated their strange story, were sentenced to three months in prison for obstructing law enforcement.

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