Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

P, N, R, D…It’s All So Confusing!

We have had numerous reports of would be bozo car thieves who were thwarted because they couldn’t drive a manual transmission vehicle but today’s report from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is our first known report of a bozo who couldn’t drive an automatic. Police say a man had stopped at his grandmother’s house and gotten out of his car to take some food inside. That’s when our bozo approached, flashed a gun and ordered the passenger out of the still running vehicle. Our bozo then jumped in, revved the engine numerous times but, according to the cops, didn’t go anywhere because the car was in park at the time. After several more attempts, our bozo got out and fled on foot, perhaps heading to the nearest student driver school.

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