Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

That’s One Wedding We Would Like To Have Attended

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s Bozo from the Wedded Bliss Division. Our bozo-ette, who shall remain unidentified, was the maid of honor at a wedding in Florida. Things were going well, bride and groom were married, had a bite of cake and were enjoying their first dance when our bozo picked up that bottle of Fireball. She chugged almost a whole bottle and then got a little ornery. She went up to the best man, grabbed the car keys out of his pocket, and jumped into his car. As she was backing out, she almost ran down the best man, then the groom’s brother grabbed the door and was drug a short distance before he stopped the car with the emergency brake. Guests wrestled our bozo out of the car, but she still wasn’t done. She went inside, picked up a bottle of Captain Morgan rum and guzzled it. She then started throwing punches, hitting one guest in the face before she was finally subdued. She faces charges of larceny, battery, grand theft of a motor vehicle, and violation of probation. Not surprisingly, the bride says they are no longer best friends.

Category: Uncategorized
  • Kingsnake says:

    You could have just stopped at “wedding in Florida” …

    October 14, 2018 at 10:28 pm

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