Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Or Steal a ’61 Rambler

Our bozo for today proves once again that bozos and modern technology just don’t mix. Our swiped the keys to a car, along with a wallet and other items from a locker at a gym. He then found the vehicle in the parking lot and proceeded to drive away. Or at least attempt to drive away. You see, it was a new car with an electric parking brake and our bozo didn’t know how to disengage it. The car was also equipped with a dashcam, which recorded his panic when the alarm buzzer kept going off to warn him about the brake. Finally, he found the little lever to turn off the brake, but he pulled it so hard that it broke, resulting in the brake being locked in the “on” position. The video also shows him attempting to defrost the windows and turn off the windshield wipers, which he couldn’t figure out either. Busted! Next time read the manual first!

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