Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

They Just Don’t Make Ceilings Like They Used To

Bozo criminal for today comes from Dover, New Hampshire, where the cops were called to a strip shopping center on a report of an attempted bank robbery. It just so happened that bozo Eric Mitchell was in the shopping center at the same time and, while he was not connected to the bank robbery, he panicked when he saw the police streaming into the lot. So, he did what any paranoid bozo would do. He rushed into a nearby grocery store and attempted to hide in the ceiling. The police were in the store looking at their surveillance cameras to see if they showed any evidence of the bank robbery when they heard a rustling above them. The next thing they knew he came partially crashing through the ceiling right above the seafood section of the deli. Our bozo scrambled to get away and broke through the ceiling in three other places before the cops finally apprehended him. Turns out he was on bail for a drug offense and thought they were coming after him. He’s been charged with criminal mischief, trespass and resisting arrest. No word on the fate of the bank robbers.

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