Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Orlando, Florida. Cops were called at 3:45 am to a report of a man stranded on the fountain in Lake Eola. Further investigation found that our bozo had stolen one of the lake’s swan shaped paddle boats and then discovered he couldn’t steer it and wound up stranded on the island. Needless to say, alcohol was involved. He’s under arrest.