Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Trump Couldn’t Reach Godzilla, So He Called This Guy

Bozo criminal for today comes from Parkland, Washington, where the cops were called to a report of a man standing in the middle of an intersection and waving an AK47 rifle. The man eventually laid down his weapon and was handcuffed after being tased. After being taken into custody he told the cops he had snorted methamphetamine to lose weight but then offered up the Bozo Excuse of the Week. He said he had been contacted by Donald Trump and told to fight the “lizard people”, and he had just stopped in the middle of the intersection to warn everyone. He added, “The meth doesn’t make me crazy man, the lizard people are real!’ After telling him the lizard people were “fake news”, he was taken in for evaluation.

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