Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

That Was An Interesting Pat-Down

Bozo criminal for today had a rather unique approach to try to cover up her shoplifting. A pet boa constrictor. Police were called to a report of shoplifting at a local store. When they arrived, they confronted our bozo in the parking lot and she explained to them that the reason she looked rather “lumpy” was because she had a boa constrictor under her shirt. Police did indeed find the snake, wrapped in a small blanket, under her clothing, but unfortunately for her, they also found a couple of lighters that she was accused of stealing. She offered up the excuse that she “forgot” to pay. She was also found to have an outstanding warrant. She and the snake were taken into custody.

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