Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Russell Fox for sending in today’s report from Charlotte Hall, Maryland. The cops were called to a local dollar store on a report that it was being ransacked. When they arrived, the place was a mess, with displays overturned and items strewn all over the floor, with the majority of the mess being in the Christmas tree section. The police were quickly able to solve the crime, as the suspect was still on the premises. A rogue beaver had apparently found his way into the store and took a good long look at the Christmas trees. After finding them all to be artificial, he proceeded to trash the place. Nothing to eat here, pal. He’s been taken into protective custody.