Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Rock

Bozo criminal for today comes from Brockton, Massachusetts where our bozo thought this was going to be an easy heist. Boy, was he wrong. First mistake: He pulled his van up directly in front of the store’s security camera which had a clear shot of his license plate. Second Mistake: He underestimated the strength of the store’s window. Security footage shows our bozo hurl a rock at the store’s window from close range. Doink! The rock hits the window and bounces back, landing at the man’s feet. So, summoning all his strength, he picks up the rock and tries again. Doink! Same result. Only this time the rock bounces off the van’s door and rolls under the vehicle. Thinking better of things, our bozo gets into the car and drives off. Police expect to make an arrest shortly.

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