Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Assault With a Smelly Weapon

Sloppy Joe’s Bar in Key West, Florida, has a long and storied history, dating back to 1933, but never before has its name been mentioned in the Bozo Criminal Report. Until today. Apparently a disagreement arose between two couples enjoying beverages in the bar. The disagreement escalated and one of our bozos was punched in the face and another suffered a dislocated shoulder. The cops were called and our bozos were interrogated. So what was the cause? Perhaps someone pulled a knife? Nope. Someone insulted one of the women? Nah. Someone farted? Yep. Police determined the whole thing was the result of an argument over who farted. Cooler heads prevailed, Febreze was sprayed everywhere, and no charges were filed.

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