Bozo criminal for today comes from Eagle Point, Oregon, where bozo Victorino Gomez grabbed a bicycle parked in front of the local Wal-Mart and attempted to pedal away. He was struggling with the bike gears when a rancher who was loading dog food and a camping tent into his truck spotted him. The rancher simply did what comes natural. He got his horse, Long John, out of the trailer, saddled up, and rode over to the man who was still trying to work the bike’s gears. Our hero took out his rope and lassoed our bozo. He tightened the rope and dragged our bozo to a safe place where he remained tightly bound until the cops arrived.