Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

Ay Carumba!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from San Bernardino, Califorina. Now, this one is rather complicated, so please pay attention. It seems bozos Dean Ferguson and Daiquon Haynes were hungry after a long night of carousing, so they stole a full taco truck from the Amapola Rico Taco restaurant. Our bozos stole the truck around 1 a.m. and began cruising around, eating tacos as they drove. At one point our bozos pulled into a woman’s driveway, hitting her truck as they tried to back out. She called the cops and, as the police were on the scene writing up the report, the truck rumbled by. The cops took off after the truck and chased it down the 215 Freeway at speeds in excess of 80 MPH. By now morning traffic was heating up and, when our bozos exited the freeway they immediately found themselves stuck in a back-up. Maneuvering a taco truck through heavy traffic isn’t as easy as it looks and our bozos sideswiped a schoolbus and, while trying to avoid it, promptly T-boned a propane tanker. Somewhat miraculously, no one was injured and the truck didn’t burst into flames, so our bozos jumped out of the truck and tried to flee on foot. Just one more bad idea of many on this morning. The cops quickly placed them under arrest. No word on the fate of the remaining tacos.

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