Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

You’d Think He Would Have At Least Grabbed a Slurpee

Our bozo for today from Bradenton, Florida is a play on the old question, “If a tree falls in the woods, does anyone hear it?” Let’s call this one, “If there’s no one in the store, does a bozo rob it?” Apparently the answer is no. Police were called to a report of an attempted robbery at a local 7-Eleven. The store clerk said our bozo entered the store around 5:44 a.m., wearing a mask and carrying a handgun. He took a look around the store and, after seeing no one inside, simply turned around and walked out empty-handed. The cops are looking for the world’s most laid-back robber.

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