Dave Moreland's Bozo Criminal of the Day - The world famous daily report on dumb crimes

No Happily Ever After Here

Bozo criminal for today comes from Bay City, Michigan where bozo William Carver wanted to marry his girlfriend, Sherri Mason. And he wanted to do it up right, so he proposed where any bozo would do it, at the local Walmart. He used the store’s loudspeaker to propose as he got down on one knee and popped the question. Fellow shoppers applauded after she said yes. The applause ended quickly when store surveillance cameras caught our bozo shoplifting after the ceremony, stealing a necklace and earrings. The loving couple then headed to the nearby Spencer’s store where they shoplifted $80 bucks worth of stuff, including “Bride to Be” thong panties, edible underwear and a vibrating sex toy. The cops arrested the bride as she was walking down the mall. The groom was busted in the food court, where he apparently fell asleep while tying his shoes. They’ve been charged with retail fraud and larceny.

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